Thu, 26 Aug 1999 13:05 Forgive me for acting so sinful and getting you to do it even though it wasn't even right. I'm suppose to be a prayer warrior for you pleading with the Father on your behalf. I did wrong. Sorry. I cannot justify it. I did ask God for forgiveness and even though I prayed for you too, please go to Him in prayer right now as you read this and confess it to Him. It will release you from the guilt. Then forget it as He does too. I cannot slip with this. I do want you so bad sometimes but we've talked about it before on many occasions and we both know it is wrong. Forgive and forget. OK. It will be allright even though I still don't feel the consequences yet. The bible says that sin will not go unpunished. Anyways, I hope you had a good day today. I have the kids tonight and Lillian called me today to come over but in-between I will call you sometime before bed. As always, Andy PS Here is a message that I sent you a couple of weeks ago. Thu, Aug 12, 1999, 12:17am Subject: Re:Can I Get Away With Sin? It was interesting to me how he was saying that if you didn't like what was going on in your life change seed bags. Also about God's Universal Law found in the sowing and reaping verses. He also said when you are thinking about sinning to ask yourself the question "Do I want the consequences of what this act will bring to my life?" And it was interesting that the consequences could show up in your emotions, relationships, finances, physical body, in your mind and a thousand other things. So if we reap that which we sow for example in sin, we will reap corruption which is not the fruit of a peaceful, contented life or of te spirit. These are just a few things that I remember from the sermon. I Have a good day today and remember to build on your relationship with Christ. I'll do te same. It's the only way. Always and forever, Andy

Thu, 26 Aug 1999 17:46  I want to call you but I do't want to wake you up if you are sleeping. I slept some of this afternoon and did not set an alarm. I woke up at about 5:00 pm. I guess the phone woke me. I was suppose to take Matthew to skate today. The only one he can go to now is the 8:00 to 10:00 so we will be at the IceForum between those times.. I had planned on going earlier because Lillian wanted me to come over and get some tapes she said that she had for me. I told her OK, sometime I will make it over there, hoping we would skate early, then off to her house. Since I know I won't be able to make it over to her house, I called her and she said she would come over to the Iceforum. She told me the tapes she has for me are some of Andy Stanley's(Dr. Stanley's son) tapes. So I asked her about what they were. She told me they are a series of tapes on the consequences of sin and tanother tape on the consequences of sex outside of marriage. Is this just a coincidence or what? Why are these the tapes that she has for me I don't know. Anyways, I have gotten my relationship right with God and I pray you have too. I'll try to call you from the IceForum. I guess they have a pay phone there. Don't really know for sure. If you don't hear from me, I should be home around 10:30 or so. I'll try again then. Have a good evening! Always, Andy

Thu, 26 Aug 1999 23:34 I see you didn't call or send me a message so you must be asleep. I've already asked you for forgiveness so I'll have to leave it at that. Tomorrow will be a busy day. Regardless if you are mad at me or not, I want you to have a good day and just remember that I do care about what you might be thinking. I did go out of the boundaries of respecting you. I'm sorry. Always, Andy

Fri, 27 Aug 1999 19:05  I know you are probably ignoring me now. I'm going to Matthew's hockey practice, then to Lillians house. Will have to write you later. Have a good evening. Always, Andy

Fri, 27 Aug 1999 21:16  Andy, I don't know why you always assume that I am mad at you,avoiding you,or ignoring you. None of these are true. I have just been sleeping weird this week because of having to go in so early. I am sorry that we (both) gave in to temptation the other night but I've asked God's forgiveness and I know He has honored my request for forgiveness. We're still friends right? I hope so. Anyway we definitely need to realize that mistakes like this could end up being very detrimental to our relationship with each other and definitely to our relationship with God. We KNOW nothing is worth that. Have a good night. Your friend, Angie

    Fri, 27 Aug 1999 22:42 Sorry for assuming this and that. The Holy Spirit has really put conviction on me. I know I am forgiven. I just CANNOT and WILL NOT let this happen again, ever. It's not your fault but mine. I'm suppose to be strong and a role model of Jesus Christ in my life. What a poor testimony. But I refuse to let the devil keep me in bondage to my feelings. That's just what he wants to do. God said to not rely on your feelings but the truth. The truth is what sets us free. Anyway, have a nice weekend if I don't get to talk with you. Sunday I definitely will go to FBA in Atlanta. Let us continue in our friendship and love for one another. We both need spiritual support. Agreed? Always, Andy

Sun, 29 Aug 1999 04:57  Yesterday was a heck of a day. Took Matthew to IceForum at 330 to 530. Saw Connie and the girls there too. Then party at the Keyes house for Mr. Keyes b-day and going away party for Yurk. Got home, got the kids in the bath, recorded some tapes and went to bed. Got up this am at 4:00. Recorded some interesting tapes about sexual immorality and sex and sowing and reaping by Andy Stanley. That's where we are going today. First to his church for the early service and then over to FBA for Dr. Stanley's service. Got to be at Lillian's house at 5:45 this morning. Hope you have a good day. I know I haven't had much time to talk with you. Sorry. We'll talk again next week. Have a blessed day. Always, Andy

Tue, 31 Aug 1999 21:55  Andy, I have tried to call you several times but I keep getting a clicking noise as if some- one were on the web and maybe not able to get a connection. Please call me if you ever get this message. Angie PS Thanks for the tapes. John listened to the one by Andy Stanley about sex and was very impressed. We discussed it for a good hour or so. I really liked Andy's style of preaching.

Wed, 1 Sep 1999 01:10 Yes, I finally got your message and was in bed by about 9:30 pm. The one cordless has been messing up because of the battery so Benny had my phone that is normally in the bedroom. I just woke up to get me a drink and thought I would check the mail box before I went back to bed. Anyways, I hope that you got the tapes out of the mailbox. I put them in there this evening. I know you weren't home cause your mail was still in there. Have a good day tomorrow. I'll talk to you in the evening sometime. Always, Andy

  Wed, 1 Sep 1999 18:16 It is about 6:15 pm and I am getting ready to take a shower and go over to my mom's house for dinner, then I need to pickup a tape from Lillian's house and drop off some tapes. I should be home between 9:30 and 10:00. I'll call you when I get back. Hope your day was good. Talk with you soon. Always, Andy PS I have the other tape recorded too.

Wed, Sep 1, 1999, 10:17pm Andy, You are making it very frustrating for me to continue communicating with you. Everytime I try to reach you, you're either not home or Benny is monopolizing the phone and computer and I can't get through to you. And finally if and when I do get through to you, you're either on your way out the door or you're on your way to bed (always exhausted from your jam packed schedule). I really don' t think you need my friendship.Have you thought of that? I really needed to talk to you today so I tried calling you at work. Ms. Harmon informed me that you weren't there and you hadn't been there since last week. Evidently you've got so much going on in your life that it must have slipped your mind Monday night when you told me you needed to leave so that you could iron your clothes for the next day. I do appreciate you making those tapes for me but I don't want you to go to any more trouble for me. Well here it is almost 10:20pm. You said you would call by 10:00 but what do you care,you're probably off tomorrow. If you can get me that tape back sometime soon, don't even worry about making a copy of it.I'll just send that one to my aunt. You are a hard person to figure out. Angie

Thu, Sep 2, 1999, 3:42am `I am sorry that I have deceived you into thinking everything was OK in my life. Deep down inside I knew it was wrong. There have been things that I wanted to tell you but afraid of what you might say. I had planned on going to work Tuesday because I called in on last Friday. I was out Fri, Sat and Mon was the third day. When I got home I had these feelings of how inadequate I was to face work and I thought time with God and time to think would help me get right with myself. So I decided to get an excuse and have more time to sort things out in my mind. But as Friday approaches itīs as if nothing has changed. In the sense that Iīve got my life under control now. I donīt. I have to accept the fact that this is life and I need to learn how to cope with all the things Iīm faced with. And I have been terrible all my life of trying to juggle it all. And I believe that my actions that night even though God forgave me as I confessed it to Him played havoc in my mind. I donīt know if God was punishing me for taking advantage of you that night. But I do know He wants me to learn a good lesson about this sexual sin.   Iīm not saying that we canīt be friends even though you might not want to be friends anymore with me. And there has been some good to come out of our friendship. The only problem was that I was trying to help you thru your problem but I was scared to tell you my problems. I did realize that was not good and would one day falter our friendship. I didnīt lie to you, I just didnīt say anything. You have enlightened my heart to some things and Iīd have to admit that I do get offensive when you voice your opinion about some things too. Thatīs one of my weaknesses that I have to work on. Besides alot of others. You see, I am not perfect and I do make mistakes. I donīt claim to be perfect and I do know what the bible teaches about alot of things but when it comes to applying it, sometimes I fail. And I know that God forgives me when I do something but I have a problem with condemning myself sometime. And I live under this cloud of guilt to which I keep searching to find out what's wrong when the problem is myself. Since last week I have had 2 bounced checks, one to the post office. I never had a bounced check to the post office. Never. I've not only hid the truth from you but I lied about being sick to work. My oil light when on in my car. The oil didn't registeron the stick. My mom has a lump in her breast and now her knee swells up because of arthritis, my sister is moving to Atlanta, Andrew and Matthew are having difficulty in school, on and on it goes. I should know by now to just place all these things in the care of God Almighty but sometimes I don't and I try to do something myself when really I can't. That's just life. And I need to learn how to deal with these and in the process balance life so that I can live a contented life. I also love a girl I can't be with and that just adds to it too. I'd have to admit I am a mess but I have to make a choice to live above all these circumstances. It's just not going to automatically happen. So, I don't blame you if you no longer want me in your life. I'm not worth is Angie. There is someone out there who can give you their full attention. I want you to be happy and desire God's best for you. You know there has been too much that has happened here between us to even ever think about us getting back together. I know you think on a friendship level but most of the time I think of us and what it could become, not what it was. You'll always be my girl. No matter what happens between us I will always think about you and if things are OK and do you need a friend. God has never placed someone in my heart the way He did you and I can't even begin to explain it. Even through all of this and all of our past together. See ya, Andy

Thu, Sep 2, 1999, 5:45am Andy, For whatever it is worth,I will pray for you today. Please be available sometime this evening for me to talk to you. Angie

Thu, Sep 2, 1999, 7:52pm I just took the kids home and now have time for prayer which I need. Tomorrow is approaching and I know things will be all right. I've accepted some things but will work on some other things too. No one is perfect so I can't keep comdemning myself. I'll just do as I told you and you told me last night. Choose to be happy. You can call if you like. I'm just going to pray and then cook something for Benny and I to have for dinner. I'd call but don't know if you are asleep. Andy

Fri, Sep 3, 1999, 4:20am Andy, This is the day that the Lord hath made, I will rejoice and be glad in it. Have a wonderful day! Angie

Fri, Sep 3, 1999, 11:25pm Andy, Once again, thank you for going to the trouble(even though you were tired) of coming all the way out here to bring me the tapes.Thanks also for setting up all of that stuff in my web tv. One day I hope to be as knowledgeable as you with my web tv unit.You are right, we do need to arrange a time( when we don't have to hurry)to talk about our relationship in depth.We need to discuss how we intend to draw closer to God through our friendship. We Can Make It Happen! In His Strength, Angie Phil4:13

Sat, Sep 4, 1999, 8:15pm Hi Angie, Hope you had a good day today. My was fine. Got off at 2:00 pm. Already cooked dinner but need to iron some clothes for tomorrow. Still undecided if I will try to make Andy Stanley's church before FBA. Got to get the kids in the tub and get going. I want to be sleeping by 10:00 pm so I can wake up at 4:00 am tomorrow. Hope you have a good day tomorrow. If you get this message before 10:00 pm you can call me if you'd like. I don't know if you are sleeping or out. Talk with you soon. Love you, Andy

Sun, Sep 5, 1999, 12:07am Andy, I really enjoyed reading those e-mails. I know you think I never read them but I do.I especially liked the last two.I guess you are already gone to sleep since you will have to get up so early.Please be careful.Atlanta is dangerous enough to have to drive to on a normal weekend,but I'd be extra careful this weekend. Have a blessed day. I'll pray for yor safe return. Friends for life, Angie

Sun, Sep 5, 1999, 4:29am Thanks for you reply. You have a good day today too. Yes, I'm up and got my coffee in hand. My stomach is upset a little and I have the piles. Must have been something I ate yesterday. Regardless, I must start getting ready now to go. I'm dead tired but will be OK. Talk with you sometime this evening. Andy

Sun, Sep 5, 1999, 5:39am I'm not 100 percent sure if I will stay or not for the 6:00 pm service but regardless of what time I get home I'll call you so don't think that I'm avoiding you. Have a good one! bye, Andy

Sun, Sep 5, 1999, 9:55pm Subject: Sleep Well Angie, Don't be bored. Be content with just doing nothing and get rest. I enjoy talking with you and don't ever think that I don't want to. Have a good evening and talk with you in the AM. Your dear friend, Andy

Mon, Sep 6, 1999, 11:13pm
Thanks for the 2 books that you gave me. I know they will be of great help to me. Also thanks for the nice card and the message. I appreciate it. Have a good day tomorrow! In Christ, Andy

Wed, Sep 8, 1999, 6:24am
Andy, I just tried to call you.You may have been in the shower or if you had to go in early, you would have already left. Anyway,I just woke up. I was so tired yesterday I couldn't wait tto get home and get into bed.Hope you have a good day. See ya, Angie

Wed, Sep 8, 1999, 10:02pm
Sorry that our evening started off bad. I didn't mean it to. I just didn't know it was so late. Anyways, I hope you get things straightened out with him next time he calls. You really need to he honest with him. You don't have to justify anything. Just tell him how you feel period. And when you do, you'll feel better yourself. Thanks for being friends. Have a good day tomorrow. In Christ, Andy

Thu, Sep 9, 1999, 5:05pm
I'm home and will call you between 9 and 9:30 pm. I hope you'll be up. Talk with you then. bye, andy

Sat, Sep 11, 1999, 4:39am
Andy, Although we didn't devote the whole time to our bible study, I think we are off to good start.We need to plan our next one. Anyway, have a good day and I'll talk to you later. Angie

Sat, Sep 11, 1999, 10:53pm
Have a Good Day!
Whereever you go and whatever you do have a good day, Angie. You are in my thoughts and prayers, dear. Andy

Sun, Sep 12, 1999, 11:53pm
Good Morning
On the way home I thought why God is keeping our relationship going. I know it's a little silly but I think he wants us to use each other to overcome our weaknesses. He knows that I place high on my list the big p word. And he knows that you have tried your own thing too with other men but both of us have failed over and over again. He wants us to help each other to gain victory over our sexual immorality. Anyways, have a great day tomorrow being off. I'll check my e mail when I get ome about 6:30 pm Bye for now. In Christ, Andy

Mon, Sep 13, 1999, 11:34am
Andy, I don't think I'm going to Md. after all. I forgot that I had an obgyn. appt. that will not be able to be rescheduled til sometime in Nov. I'll talk to you later. Have a good day. Angie

Mon, Sep 13, 1999, 7:08pm
I'm home now but will lay down until 9:00 pm. Then call Matthew, then call you. If you need to call before then I will have the phone by the bed. Andy

   Saved message From: (Andy) Date: Sun, Sep 19, 1999, 10:56pm To: Subject: (no subject) This is very difficult for me to write but I know that I've should have done it a few days ago and keep putting it off. I'm sorry about everything from the very start of our relationship in 1994. And especially for the other night. It just seems it is not God's Will for us. As heartbreaking as it is for me, I still pray for your life and hope that you will meet the right guy. I know sometimes life is not fair and both of us need to come to terms about our relationship and friendship and just wish each other good luck. I know God has someone for the both of us. There is so much junk in my life and I've got to spend time with Christ and know I have to make a commitment to Him. All of this trying to do it in my own strength is not getting me anywhere. There has to be a change in my character and in my life and that will take time. It will take a commitment on my part to do God's Will the best I know how with no compromise to sin. I can do it with Him. It's the only way. I know as well as you know that we've both have an uphill battle with areas of our lives that are less than perfect but we can do it. So I pray for you in whatever you are facing that Jesus will touch your life as you commit your life to Him. As for us, I given up hope for a reconciliation and need to move on now. I'll still always love you in a special way. I need to put you behind me so as to not hinder my meeting someone in the future. As for you, I know you will be fine. Just promise me, that if you decide to marry one day that it will not be out of loneliness or wrong motives. I pray that it will be the best that you deserve and you do deserve a good husband. You are such a good person and like me we've both grown up in bad situations but we are adults now and need to take responsibility for our mistakes and know God can help. I know I have been the worst when it comes to taking responsibility. Angie, may the power of the Holy Spirit fill your life each and every day. NEVER give up on God. NEVER. He's there for me and he'll always be there for you no matter what. Andy

Mon, Nov 8, 1999, 5:35pm
Re: Fwd: Fruits of the Spirit
Thank you for that email you forwarded by Max Lucado. I used to complain about all of the religious material you used to send me but since I haven't gotten any for quite some time,it was sort of nice for a change. No matter what happens or has happened between us you will always have a special place in my heart. Maybe it's best that we only communicate by email. That way we won't be faced with temptation that always messes things up for us. What do you think? You don't have to feel obligated to write me daily,just occasionally would be nice. OK?
I'm going to The Vineyard again and I really like it. Take Care

Tue, Nov 9, 1999, 9:56pm
I got your letter this morning. I haven't had time to reply. The e-mail on webtv has been a little slow lately. I don't know why. Some things that were sent to me and some that I sent to others took a whole day to get there. So if you don't get my reply right away forgive the stupid webtv.
I still always wish the best for you. Always will. Yes, e-mailing would be nice. I try not to stay on the web too long but I am always checking my messages.
I can't help it if I forward religious things. It's not that I'm way up there. I just need God in my life and I know you need Him too. So if you don't like it, just discard it.
I had been in a little rut a while back but now I feel so much better in my walk with God. Not that I'm taking off into the clouds but my relationship with God is getting a whole lot better since I try to always put Him first. I get up 2 hours before work and spend a little time praying and getting organized for the day. I try not to push myself in one area so that I get everything done. It's much better that way for me.
Hope that everything is going well with you. Glad to hear you are going to church now. If you ever need any tapes or anything let me know. I still have a tape and book that you let me use. I will return it to you soon. Stay in touch.
Even if we're a long way off as far as relationship you'll always be my friend. You are still dear to my heart and you'll always have that place there.
Yea, i'll try not to bomb you with mail. But if I do just discard. I won't send much. Not much!!
Bye for now, Andy

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