Thu, 26 Aug 1999 17:46
I want to call you but I do't want to wake you up
if you are sleeping. I slept some of this
afternoon and did not set an alarm. I woke up at
about 5:00 pm. I guess the phone woke me. I was
suppose to take Matthew to skate today. The only
one he can go to now is the 8:00 to 10:00 so we
will be at the IceForum between those times.. I
had planned on going earlier because Lillian
wanted me to come over and get some tapes she
said that she had for me. I told her OK, sometime
I will make it over there, hoping we would skate
early, then off to her house. Since I know I
won't be able to make it over to her house, I
called her and she said she would come over to
the Iceforum. She told me the tapes she has for
me are some of Andy Stanley's(Dr. Stanley's son)
tapes. So I asked her about what they were. She
told me they are a series of tapes on the
consequences of sin and tanother tape on the
consequences of sex outside of marriage. Is this
just a coincidence or what? Why are these the
tapes that she has for me I don't know.
Anyways, I have gotten my relationship right with
God and I pray you have too. I'll try to call you
from the IceForum. I guess they have a pay phone
there. Don't really know for sure. If you don't
hear from me, I should be home around 10:30 or
so. I'll try again then. Have a good evening!
Thu, 26 Aug 1999 23:34
I see you didn't call or send me a message so you
must be asleep. I've already asked you for
forgiveness so I'll have to leave it at that.
Tomorrow will be a busy day.
Regardless if you are mad at me or not,
I want you to have a good day and just remember
that I do care about what you might be thinking.
I did go out of the boundaries of respecting you.
Fri, 27 Aug 1999 19:05
I know you are probably ignoring me now. I'm
going to Matthew's hockey practice, then to
Lillians house. Will have to write you later.
Have a good evening.
Fri, 27 Aug 1999 21:16
I don't know why you always assume that I am mad
at you,avoiding you,or ignoring you. None of
these are true. I have just been sleeping weird
this week because of having to go in so early. I
am sorry that we (both) gave in to temptation the
other night but I've asked God's forgiveness and
I know He has honored my request for forgiveness.
We're still friends right? I hope so. Anyway we
definitely need to realize that mistakes like
this could end up being very detrimental to our
relationship with each other and definitely to
our relationship with God. We KNOW nothing is
worth that. Have a good night.
Fri, 27 Aug 1999 22:42
Sorry for assuming this and that. The Holy Spirit
has really put conviction on me. I know I am
forgiven. I just CANNOT and WILL NOT let this
happen again, ever. It's not your fault but mine.
I'm suppose to be strong and a role model of
Jesus Christ in my life. What a poor testimony.
But I refuse to let the devil keep me in bondage
to my feelings. That's just what he wants to do.
God said to not rely on your feelings but the
truth. The truth is what sets us free. Anyway,
have a nice weekend if I don't get to talk with
you. Sunday I definitely will go to FBA in
Let us continue in our friendship and love for
one another. We both need spiritual support.
Sun, 29 Aug 1999 04:57
Yesterday was a heck of a day. Took Matthew to
IceForum at 330 to 530. Saw Connie and the girls
there too. Then party at the Keyes house for Mr.
Keyes b-day and going away party for Yurk. Got
home, got the kids in the bath, recorded some
tapes and went to bed. Got up this am at 4:00.
Recorded some interesting tapes about sexual
immorality and sex and sowing and reaping by Andy
Stanley. That's where we are going today. First
to his church for the early service and then over
to FBA for Dr. Stanley's service. Got to be at
Lillian's house at 5:45 this morning. Hope you
have a good day. I know I haven't had much time
to talk with you. Sorry. We'll talk again next
week. Have a blessed day. Always, Andy
Tue, 31 Aug 1999 21:55
I have tried to call you several times but I keep
getting a clicking noise as if some- one were on
the web and maybe not able to get a connection.
Please call me if you ever get this message.
Angie PS Thanks for the tapes. John listened to
the one by Andy Stanley about sex and
was very impressed. We discussed it
for a good hour or so. I really liked
Andy's style of preaching.
Wed, 1 Sep 1999 01:10
Yes, I finally got your message and was in bed by
about 9:30 pm. The one cordless has been messing
up because of the battery so Benny had my phone
that is normally in the bedroom. I just woke up
to get me a drink and thought I would check the
mail box before I went back to bed. Anyways, I
hope that you got the tapes out of the mailbox. I
put them in there this evening. I know you
weren't home cause your mail was still in there.
Have a good day tomorrow. I'll talk to you in the
evening sometime. Always,
Wed, 1 Sep 1999 18:16
It is about 6:15 pm and I am getting ready to
take a shower and go over to my mom's house for
dinner, then I need to pickup a tape from
Lillian's house and drop off some tapes. I should
be home between 9:30 and 10:00. I'll call you
when I get back.
Hope your day was good. Talk with you soon.
PS I have the other tape recorded too.
Wed, Sep 1, 1999, 10:17pm
You are making it very frustrating for me to
continue communicating with you.
Everytime I try to reach you, you're either not
home or Benny is monopolizing the phone and
computer and I can't get through to you. And
finally if and when I do get through to you,
you're either on your way out the door or you're
on your way to bed (always exhausted from your
jam packed schedule). I really don' t think you
need my friendship.Have you thought of that? I
really needed to talk to you today so I tried
calling you at work. Ms. Harmon informed me that
you weren't there and you
hadn't been there since last week.
Evidently you've got so much going on in your
life that it must have slipped your mind Monday
night when you told me you needed to leave so
that you could iron your clothes for the next
day. I do appreciate you making those tapes for
me but I don't want you to go to any more trouble
Well here it is almost 10:20pm.
You said you would call by 10:00 but
what do you care,you're probably off tomorrow. If
you can get me that tape back sometime soon,
don't even worry about making a copy of it.I'll
just send that one to my aunt. You are a hard
person to figure out. Angie
Thu, Sep 2, 1999, 3:42am
`I am sorry that I have deceived you into
thinking everything was OK in my life. Deep down
inside I knew it was wrong. There have been
things that I wanted to tell you but afraid of
what you might say. I had planned on going to
work Tuesday because I called in on last Friday.
I was out Fri, Sat and Mon was the third day.
When I got home I had these feelings of how
inadequate I was to face work and I thought time
with God and time to think would help me get
right with myself. So I decided to get an excuse
and have more time to sort things out in my mind.
But as Friday approaches itīs as if nothing has
changed. In the sense that Iīve got my life under
control now. I donīt. I have to accept the fact
that this is life and I need to learn how to cope
with all the things Iīm faced with. And I have
been terrible all my life of trying to juggle it
all. And I believe that my actions that night
even though God forgave me as I confessed it to
Him played havoc in my mind. I donīt know if God
was punishing me for taking advantage of you that
night. But I do know He wants me to learn a good
lesson about this sexual sin. Iīm not saying
that we canīt be friends even though you might
not want to be friends anymore with me. And there
has been some good to come out of our friendship.
The only problem was that I was trying to help
you thru your problem but I was scared to tell
you my problems. I did realize that was not good
and would one day falter our friendship. I didnīt
lie to you, I just didnīt say anything. You have
enlightened my heart to some things and Iīd have
to admit that I do get offensive when you voice
your opinion about some things too. Thatīs one of
my weaknesses that I have to work on. Besides
alot of others. You see, I am not perfect and I
do make mistakes. I donīt claim to be perfect and
I do know what the bible teaches about alot of
things but when it comes to applying it,
sometimes I fail. And I know that God forgives me
when I do something but I have a problem with
condemning myself sometime. And I live under this
cloud of guilt to which I keep searching to find
out what's wrong when the problem is myself.
Since last week I have had 2 bounced checks, one
to the post office. I never had a bounced check
to the post office. Never. I've not only hid the
truth from you but I lied about being sick to
work. My oil light when on in my car. The oil
didn't registeron the stick. My mom has a lump in
her breast and now her knee swells up because of
arthritis, my sister is moving to Atlanta, Andrew
and Matthew are having difficulty in school, on
and on it goes. I should know by now to just
place all these things in the care of God
Almighty but sometimes I don't and I try to do
something myself when really I can't. That's just
life. And I need to learn how to deal with these
and in the process balance life so that I can
live a contented life. I also love a girl I can't
be with and that just adds to it too.
I'd have to admit I am a mess but I have to make
a choice to live above all these circumstances.
It's just not going to automatically happen. So,
I don't blame you if you no longer want me in
your life. I'm not worth is Angie. There is
someone out there who can give you their full
attention. I want you to be happy and desire
God's best for you. You know there has been too
much that has happened here between us to even
ever think about us getting back together. I know
you think on a friendship level but most of the
time I think of us and what it could become, not
what it was. You'll always be my girl. No matter
what happens between us I will always think about
you and if things are OK and do you need a
friend. God has never placed someone in my heart
the way He did you and I can't even begin to
explain it. Even through all of this and all of
our past together.
Thu, Sep 2, 1999, 5:45am
For whatever it is worth,I will pray for you
today. Please be available sometime this evening
for me to talk to you. Angie
Thu, Sep 2, 1999, 7:52pm
I just took the kids home and now have time for
prayer which I need. Tomorrow is approaching and
I know things will be all right. I've accepted
some things but will work on some other things
too. No one is perfect so I can't keep comdemning
myself. I'll just do as I told you and you told
me last night. Choose to be happy. You can call
if you like. I'm just going to pray and then cook
something for Benny and I to have for dinner. I'd
call but don't know if you are asleep.
Fri, Sep 3, 1999, 4:20am
This is the day that the Lord hath made, I will
rejoice and be glad in it.
Have a wonderful day!
Fri, Sep 3, 1999, 11:25pm
Once again, thank you for going to the
trouble(even though you were tired) of
coming all the way out here to bring me
the tapes.Thanks also for setting up
all of that stuff in my web tv. One day
I hope to be as knowledgeable as you
with my web tv unit.You are right, we do need to
arrange a time( when we don't have to
hurry)to talk about our relationship in
depth.We need to discuss how we intend
to draw closer to God through our friendship. We
Can Make It Happen! In His Strength,
Sat, Sep 4, 1999, 8:15pm
Hope you had a good day today. My was fine. Got
off at 2:00 pm. Already cooked dinner but need to
iron some clothes for tomorrow. Still undecided
if I will try to make Andy Stanley's church
before FBA. Got to get the kids in the tub and
get going. I want to be sleeping by 10:00 pm so I
wake up at 4:00 am tomorrow.
Hope you have a good day tomorrow. If you get
this message before 10:00 pm you can call me if
you'd like. I don't know if you are sleeping or
Talk with you soon.
Sun, Sep 5, 1999, 12:07am
I really enjoyed reading those e-mails.
I know you think I never read them but
I do.I especially liked the last two.I guess you
are already gone to sleep since you will have
to get up so early.Please be careful.Atlanta is
dangerous enough to have to drive to on a normal
weekend,but I'd be extra careful this weekend.
Have a blessed day.
I'll pray for yor safe return.
Friends for life,
Sun, Sep 5, 1999, 4:29am
Thanks for you reply. You have a good day today
too. Yes, I'm up and got my coffee in hand. My
stomach is upset a little and I have the piles.
Must have been something I ate yesterday.
Regardless, I must start getting ready now to go.
I'm dead tired but will be OK. Talk with you
sometime this evening.
Sun, Sep 5, 1999, 5:39am
I'm not 100 percent sure if I will stay or not
for the 6:00 pm service but regardless of what
time I get home I'll call you so don't think that
I'm avoiding you. Have a good one!
Sun, Sep 5, 1999, 9:55pm
Subject: Sleep Well
Don't be bored. Be content with just doing
nothing and get rest. I enjoy talking with you
and don't ever think that I don't want to. Have a
good evening and talk with you in the AM.
Your dear friend,
Mon, Sep 6, 1999, 11:13pm
Thanks for the 2 books that you gave me. I know
they will be of great help to me. Also thanks for
the nice card and the message. I appreciate it.
Have a good day tomorrow!
Wed, Sep 8, 1999, 6:24am
I just tried to call you.You may have been in the
shower or if you had to go in early, you would
have already left. Anyway,I
just woke up. I was so tired yesterday
I couldn't wait tto get home and get
into bed.Hope you have a good day.
Wed, Sep 8, 1999, 10:02pm
Sorry that our evening started off bad. I didn't
mean it to. I just didn't know it was so late.
Anyways, I hope you get things straightened out
with him next time he calls. You really need to
he honest with him. You don't have to justify
anything. Just tell him how you feel period. And
when you do, you'll feel better yourself.
Thanks for being friends. Have a good day
Thu, Sep 9, 1999, 5:05pm
I'm home and will call you between 9 and 9:30 pm.
I hope you'll be up. Talk with you then.
Sat, Sep 11, 1999, 4:39am
Although we didn't devote the whole
time to our bible study, I think we are
off to good start.We need to plan our
next one. Anyway, have a good day
and I'll talk to you later.
Sat, Sep 11, 1999, 10:53pmHave a Good
Whereever you go and whatever you do have a good
day, Angie. You are in my thoughts and prayers,
Sun, Sep 12, 1999, 11:53pmGood Morning
On the way home I thought why God is keeping our relationship going. I know it's a little silly but I think he wants us to use each other to overcome our weaknesses. He knows that I place high on my list the big p word. And he knows that you have tried your own thing too with other men but both of us have failed over and over again. He wants us to help each other to gain victory over our sexual immorality.
Anyways, have a great day tomorrow being off. I'll check my e mail when I get ome about 6:30 pm Bye for now.
Mon, Sep 13, 1999, 11:34am
I don't think I'm going to Md. after all. I forgot that I had an obgyn. appt. that will not be able to be rescheduled til sometime in Nov. I'll talk to you later.
Have a good day.
Mon, Sep 13, 1999, 7:08pm
I'm home now but will lay down until 9:00 pm. Then call Matthew, then call you. If you need to call before then I will have the phone by the bed.
Saved message From: email@example.com (Andy) Date: Sun, Sep 19, 1999, 10:56pm To: firstname.lastname@example.org Subject: (no subject)
This is very difficult for me to write but I know that I've should have done it a few days ago and keep putting it off.
I'm sorry about everything from the very start of our relationship in
1994. And especially for the other night. It just seems it is not God's Will for us. As heartbreaking as it is for me, I still pray for your life and hope that you will meet the right guy. I know sometimes life is not fair and both of us need to come to terms about our relationship and friendship and just wish each other good luck. I know God has someone for the both of us.
There is so much junk in my life and I've got to spend time with Christ and know I have to make a commitment to Him. All of this trying to do it in my own strength is not getting me anywhere. There has to be a change in my character and in my life and that will take time. It will take a commitment on my part to do God's Will the best I know how with no compromise to sin. I can do it with Him. It's the only way. I know as well as you know that we've both have an uphill battle with areas of our lives that are less than perfect but we can do it.
So I pray for you in whatever you are facing that Jesus will touch your life as you commit your life to Him.
As for us, I given up hope for a reconciliation and need to move on now. I'll still always love you in a special way. I need to put you behind me so as to not hinder my meeting someone in the future. As for you, I know you will be fine. Just promise me, that if you decide to marry one day that it will not be out of loneliness or wrong motives. I pray that it will be the best that you deserve and you do deserve a good husband. You are such a good person and like me we've both grown up in bad situations but we are adults now and need to take responsibility for our mistakes and know God can help. I know I have been the worst when it comes to taking responsibility.
Angie, may the power of the Holy Spirit fill your life each and every day. NEVER give up on God. NEVER. He's there for me and he'll always be there for you no matter what.
Mon, Nov 8, 1999, 5:35pm
Re: Fwd: Fruits of the Spirit
Thank you for that email you forwarded
by Max Lucado. I used to complain about
all of the religious material you used to send me but since I haven't gotten any
for quite some time,it was sort of nice for a change. No matter what happens or
has happened between us you will always
have a special place in my heart. Maybe
it's best that we only communicate by
email. That way we won't be faced with
temptation that always messes things up for us. What do you think? You don't have to feel obligated to write me daily,just occasionally would be nice. OK?
I'm going to The Vineyard again and I really like it. Take Care
Tue, Nov 9, 1999, 9:56pm
I got your letter this morning. I haven't had time to reply. The e-mail on webtv has been a little slow lately. I don't know why. Some things that were sent to me and some that I sent to others took a whole day to get there. So if you don't get my reply right away forgive the stupid webtv.
I still always wish the best for you. Always will. Yes, e-mailing would be nice. I try not to stay on the web too long but I am always checking my messages.
I can't help it if I forward religious things. It's not that I'm way up there. I just need God in my life and I know you need Him too. So if you don't like it, just discard it.
I had been in a little rut a while back but now I feel so much better in my walk with God. Not that I'm taking off into the clouds but my relationship with God is getting a whole lot better since I try to always put Him first. I get up 2 hours before work and spend a little time praying and getting organized for the day. I try not to push myself in one area so that I get everything done. It's much better that way for me.
Hope that everything is going well with you. Glad to hear you are going to church now. If you ever need any tapes or anything let me know. I still have a tape and book that you let me use. I will return it to you soon. Stay in touch.
Even if we're a long way off as far as relationship you'll always be my friend. You are still dear to my heart and you'll always have that place there.
Yea, i'll try not to bomb you with mail. But if I do just discard. I won't send much. Not much!!
Bye for now,